THE SWARM: Blu-ray (Warner Bros. 1978) Warner Archive

I cannot help but think that somewhere in Irwin Allen’s 156 min. debacle, The Swarm (1978) is a superb little sci-fi programmer a la the ilk of Gordon Douglas’ Them! (1954); The Swarm’s closet cousin being Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds (1963). Like ‘Birds’, ‘Swarm’ attempts to assault humanity with the revenge of one of God’s seemingly innocuous creatures we generally regard as a damn nuisance during outdoor picnics and think nothing of vanquishing with a fly swatter or can of insecticide. Try that with the African brethren of the common pollinating bee and see where it gets you. Dead! Understanding, of course, The Swarm has its cult following, it is also a fairly atrocious ‘disaster’ flick (one of only two actually directed by Allen – the other being, Beyond the Poseidon Adventure, 1979) with badly mangled and over-the-top performances from Olivia de Havilland and Katharine Ross and a few truly silly outbursts from Michael Caine. Taking his cue from his star-studded disaster masterpieces, 1972’s The Poseidon Adventure, and, 1974’s The Towering Inferno, Allen has stacked the deck with some heavy-hitting talent that ought to have known better – having done far better work elsewhere. Pulling every Oscar-nominated and winning actor – some, out of mothballs – and jamming them into a thimble of a plot, brutalized by a shoddy rewrite of Arthur Herzog’s novel, does not a disaster epic make.

All of The Swarm’s shortcomings would be forgivable if the talent behind the pen were not Stirling Silliphant, whose usual ‘sterling’ craftsmanship – particularly well-schooled in the authoring of disaster classics - has sorely evaporated into a grotesque pantomime of not only his honed craft, but badly borrowed snippets and skits excised from Herzog’s book, herein reassembled to focus the slant on a conflict of wills between Dr. Bradford Crane (Michael Caine, toggling his performance between his steely assassin in 1971’s Get Carter and the sort of aloof cad he played in 1966’s Alfie) and, Richard Widmark’s Gen. Thaddeus Slater (think Tommy Udo meets General Patton). Caught in the crossfire is Ross’ scientist, Helena Anderson, and Richard Chamberlain’s obtuse and barely visible, Dr. Hubbard, with Henry Fonda’s wheelchair-bound, Dr. Walter Krim, doing the idiotic ‘noble’ thing – sacrificing himself to test a failed serum against the poisonous bee venom. Despite the ‘big name above the title’ roster, and all the backing a cash-rich studio like Warner Bros. can lend, The Swarm is as poorly conceived and skinflint in its production values as a vintage Monogram programmer; photographed with pedestrian aplomb by Fred J. Koenekamp, who shoots everything in and around the backlot, with laughable miniatures and some truly horrendous matte work, as though it were just another ABC Movie of the Week.

Given all the high-priced talent on display, The Swarm is shockingly bad. Irwin Allen has perhaps forgotten ‘disaster’ plays best when the principle cast are trapped in confined quarters (a la the bowels of a sinking ship or the remaining top floors of a high rise ablaze with an all-consuming inferno). Spreading out his cast, and intermittently departing into flights of fancy having absolutely nothing to do with the central plot (a love triangle between Olivia de Havilland’s school superintendent, Maureen Schuester, Ben Johnson’s doe-eyed retiree, Felix Austin, and, Fred MacMurray’s stogy town mayor/local drugstore owner, Clarence Tuttle, gets derailed – literally – after the bees attack a train, toppling it into a steep chasm, the non-combustible passenger cars suddenly burst into hellish orange and black fireballs) diffuses the tension Allen is so desperately trying to maintain throughout this lumbering and tragic misfire in his otherwise stellar career. Irwin Allen, it must be stated for the record herein, was nothing less than a grand showman; an unusual fellow with a truly bad comb-over, but as impressively clear-eyed sense of how to exploit our adrenaline rush for people in peril and make the audience beg for more. That said, Allen should have stuck to ‘producing’ and left the directorial responsibilities in more capable hands herein. Although, I am not altogether convinced even that would have salvaged The Swarm from its misguidedly fluff-ball idiocy.

Our story begins in an isolated bunker; a hazmat team, led by Major Baker (Bradford Dillman), descending upon a missile base after communications have gone silent.  At first, it appears as though the base has been the victim of sabotage.  All of its principle workers are found dead in the central command center. Baker contacts his superior, General Slater (Richard Widmark) with the devastating news.  Together, they discover a civilian van on site and shortly thereafter, scientist, Dr. Bradford Crane (Michael Cane) as one of a handful of survivors. Slater is immediately suspicious of Crane and deeply chagrined when orders direct from the White House afford Crane full authority to proceed at his discretion in the investigation. Detecting a large airborne mass slowly levitating away from the base, Slater orders two helicopters to make an assessment. They are assaulted by ‘the swarm’ and crash in the barren landscape just beyond. Crane insists the swarm is composed of a deadly sect of African killer bees, a claim substantiated by the base’s doctor, Helena Anderson (Katharine Ross). Slater does not much care for their theorizing. Actually, not at all. He just wants the swarm dead, suggesting they spray a radioactive toxin before the swarm reaches any of the nearby civilian populations. Crane argues they cannot risk some of this toxin becoming airborne and thus killing people anyway.

We depart from this stalemate to the Durant family (mum, played by Doria Cook-Nelson, dad - Robert Varney and their young son, Paul – Christian Juttner), out on a spree, picnicking in the nearby countryside. Alas, the Durants are in for a bad time of it as the swarm descends and covers Paul’s parents; the boy, with several stingers already in him, managing to make it back to the family’s Mustang and drive off in a panic to the nearby town of Marysville, crashing into a lamp pole near the spot where everyone is preparing for the annual flower festival. The shell-shocked Paul is taken under the military’s care and calmed by Crane in his hallucinations of a giant bee attacking him. Crane calls in Dr. Walter Krim. He also has to grapple with a thoroughly disgruntled Jed Hawkins (Slim Pickins) whose son was one of the causalities at the base. Meanwhile, having recovered from his attack, Paul vows revenge on the bees and, with the aid of two equally misguided friends, they firebomb the swarm’s nest in a hollow tree. The bees retaliate, descending on Marysville and killing many of its citizens. In the aftermath, Helena is stung. Overly-ambitious TV news reporter, Anne McGregor (Lee Grant) attempts to get ‘the scoop’ on the swarm from Crane’s mouth. He quickly – if politely – dismisses her interview. Mayor Tuttle encourages his constituents to consider evacuating immediately. Many, including Tuttle, school superintendent, Maureen Schuester, and retiree, Felix Austin board the train to evacuate. The bees attack and kill the locomotive operators. The train’s speed accelerates at a critical juncture, derailing high atop a cliff, its cars plummeting down the steep incline, killing all on board.

Having confessed his part in stirring up the bees to Dr. Crane, Paul falls ill and succumbs to the after-effects of the swarms’ poisonous venom. Helena is devastated. In the interim, the swarm has made its way to Houston. Dr. Hubbard suggests a new eco-friendly pellet might be used to destroy the swarm while sparing the environment. Predictably, the pellets fail in their intended use and Krim, desperate to be the salvation of a nation, injects himself with his unproven ‘antidote’ as a test subject. He dies from this experimentation. In another part of town, nuclear power plant manager, Dr. Andrews (José Ferrer) is immune to Dr. Hubbard’s ominous warnings of another assault. Too late, both men discover they are trapped in the plant, the swarm killing them before setting off a devastating explosion that wipes out the entire town. Now, orders come directly from the White House: Slater is to take command of the situation. Houston is decimated in a conflagration orchestrated by Slater to rid them of the swarm. This too, miserably fails. Determined more than ever, Crane hypothesizes the bees were initially drawn to the base by the sound of its alarm system.  In pitch and pulsations, it mimicked the call of their queen bee.  The swarm invades the military’s headquarters. Slater and Baker use flame throwers to clear a path for Crane and Helena to make their escape. Under Crane’s command, helicopters lure the swarm to sea where buoys have been rigged with explosives and sound-emitting speakers to mimic the queen bee’s call. Having doused the water with oil (oh right, how ecologically friendly is that?!?), the turgid mixture is set ablaze by the detonation of the buoys, wiping out the swarm’s threat once and for all. From the nearby shore, Crane suggest to Helena this victory has merely bought them time. For surely, another swarm is evolving to lay its chaos upon humanity.  

The Swarm is abysmally second rate in virtually every regard. Production values are not where they ought to 'bee' and frankly, the SFX are an atrocity – even by pre-digital 1970’s standards. The story is pure pulp and cheesy plus with a side order of grotesque camp that never allows the characters to rise above their material.  I cannot imagine The Swarm having such a wide audience appeal as to warrant it a Blu-ray release ahead of so many other valiant contenders in Warner Bros.’ back catalog. I mean, here is a movie The Sunday Times once labeled “the worst movie ever made”, and, more recently, Time Out Magazine astutely called an “risibly inadequate disaster movie.”  That said, the Warner Archive (WAC) has inexplicably elected to spend money on a remastered edition of The Swarm on Blu-ray. Predictably, it looks fabulous and head and shoulders above the original DVD release. Colors are bright, warm and poppy; flesh tones, greatly improved, and fine detail abounds, as it should. Contrast is excellent and age-related dirt, scratches, etc. have been eradicated for a visually smooth presentation with a modicum of film grain looking very indigenous to its source. The 2.0 DTS stereo soundtrack is also quite enveloping. WAC has also included the ‘promo documentary’ that preceded the original theatrical release. Having sampled this disc, it is impossible to argue WAC’s commitment to quality.  But what a colossal waste of remastering dollars! Bottom line: avoid at all costs, and be very glad that you did.

FILM RATING (out of 5 – 5 being the best)

0

VIDEO/AUDIO

4.5

EXTRAS

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