UNDERWATER!: Blu-ray (RKO, 1955) Warner Archive
Ladies and gentlemen – and now, for the real/reel star
of our show: Superscope (the poor man’s Cinemascope). Gilding an
already thoroughly waterlogged lily, RKO’s world premiere for John Sturges' Underwater!
(1955) was staged in a submerged tank at Silver Springs, Florida, with
guests encouraged to don aqualungs and bathing suits and swim around. I am not
entirely certain how this would improve the listless and thoroughly gaudy ‘enjoyment’
of the actual movie, although, as meandering and plot-less as it is, I actually
cannot see how such a gimmick on top of a gimmick would impugn seeing Jane
Russell's ample bosom in widescreen. Underwater! pretty much speaks to
the quality and ambitions of its producer/studio mogul, Howard Hughes, and the
ongoing obsession he had to transform Russell into America's numero uno pin-up.
That Russell also happened to have a mind, and could handle comedy and double
entendre as well as balance her hourglass figure in high heels - was a
testament never fully exercised in these Hughes' produced flicks. Actually,
Russell is little more than a glamorous appendage. The actual star is beefcake
du jour, Richard Egan as Johnny Gray, who along with his wife, Theresa
(Russell) is on a treasure hunt for a 17th century Spanish galleon
beneath the waves of the Caribbean. It must be said of Egan, that like Russell,
he was ever more than just a body in a bathing suit.
So, Underwater! is not without its competencies
in the acting department, virtually overturned by Robert B. Bailey and Hugh
King’s pedestrian screenplay and dialogue. This one just plays like a bad joke.
Hey, have you heard the one about the lusty mercenary, Dominic Quesada (played
ineffectually by Gilbert Roland), a priest, Father Cannon (Robert Keith) and a
salty female boat captain named Gloria (Lori Nelson)? Nelson’s participation in
particular here is just odd and may, in fact, owe something to the actress’
latter-day claim that, after being hired by Hughes for the lead, Russell became
available and still owed her boss one movie. Having already signed Nelson, and
paid a handsome fee to Universal for her services, Hughes hung on to her to
save face; also, so she could retain her salary. If Underwater! is even
recalled at all today, it might be for its two little ditties, Cherry Pink
and Apple Blossom White – co-written by Louiguy, with French lyrics by
Jacques Larue, and English translation from Mack David – and, Rhythm Sticks,
written and performed by the Mambo king, Perez ‘Prez’ Prado.
The picture’s plot is disposable in the extreme. While
on a routine dive, Johnny and his ragtag crew unearth an ancient wreck with
hidden treasure. They also incur the unwanted curiosities of a motley breed of
ruthless shark hunters; Rico Herrera (Joseph Calleia), Miguel Vega (Eugene Iglesias)
and Jesus (Ric Roman). The characterizations are so thimble thin the movie
doesn’t even bother giving Prado an alter ego. But who has time for such
details, or even to explore the sunken wreck for a few doubloons when Johnny
learns in town that the real prize to be had is a life-size Madonna hewn of
solid gold and encrusted from horn to hoof in rare precious gem stones, lying
somewhere at the bottom of the sea?
Problem – said religious relic is precariously perched on the steep edge
of a shark-infested underwater abyss. Also, Johnny and his troop are not the
only ones after fortune and glory. Partly shot off the coast of Mexico and
Hawaii, Underwater!’s most spectacular ‘underwater’ sequences were
actually completed on a soundstage inside a newly constructed tank at RKO. So,
the movie offers us a queer and unsettling disconnect between these wonderful
locales and the stuff shot very artificially under controlled lighting
conditions back home. Even in 1955, it is unlikely audiences were fooled by
this bait and switch.
Given the canon of screen classics John Sturges had
already made in Hollywood – 1950’s gripping noir, Mystery Street, 1953’s
Jeopardy, and 1955’s Oscar-nominated powerful indictment of small-town
racism; Bad Day at Black Rock, and also, in retrospect, considering the
greatness Sturges had yet to achieve with pictures like 1958’s Gunfight at
the O.K. Corral, 1959’s Never So Few, his opus magnums – 1960’s The
Magnificent Seven, and 1963’s The Great Escape, and finally, 1968’s Ice
Station Zebra and 1976’s The Eagle Has Landed, Underwater! plays
like even less of a footnote to that monumental reckoning of superior work. No
doubt, Sturges was just along for the ride on this one, indulging Hughes’ predilection
for Russell’s boobies. Hughes went the quick n’ dirty route here; exploitation
in Superscope – the picture shot flat, then optically cropped to 2:1 and
presented anamorphically. It was only RKO’s second picture to use the format,
and, by far, hardly their best effort. RKO, already in the throes of their own
steep decline (from which the studio would fatally implode in 1959) would drop
even the more economical Superscope from its picture-making only a year after Underwater!
had its premiere. When referenced, the picture sometimes gets confused with
2oth Century-Fox’s similarly themed, Cinemascope production of Beneath the
12-Mile Reef, made 2-years earlier, and also featuring Gilbert Roland in a
forgettable supporting role.
Based on Bailey and King’s short story, The Big
Rainbow, the screenplay by Walter Newman is a dud. As the entire movie is
narrated after-the-fact by Egan’s self-serving stud, whatever tension might
have derived from the situations placing Johnny and his crew in peril is
haplessly diffused from the outset. After all, he’s alive. So, all’s well that
hasn’t quite ended well…not yet. And while the Mexico/Hawaii locations work
looks spectacular, it is not altogether blended with the studio matte process stuff
that intermittently intrudes and completely pulls us out of the story with its
faux recreations of these tropical oases. The picture’s highlight is brief,
though arguably, exhilarating, as the piratical shark hunters face off with
Johnny and his men – a good sequence terminally sandwiched between two ‘dull as
paint’ scenes of exposition. It’s hard not to feel cheated after viewing Underwater!
for the first time. Given that she is top-billed, and, so prominently a part of
the poster marketing campaign, Jane Russell (thoroughly fracturing her Spanish
accent) offers us little more than handcrafted window-dressing, parading
across these expansive vistas in form-fitted blouses, halter tops, and, of
course, a 2-piece bathing suit. It’s as though Hughes instructed Sturges to
insert her buxom beauty into any scene he felt was lacking in dramatic impetus –
which is to suggest, all of them. Even worse, the participation of Robert Keith
and Lori Nelson in these proceedings is so slight it hardly bears mentioning.
So, the real/reel heavy lifting is left to Richard Egan and Gilbert Roland, who
provide female viewers with their share of equal opportunity sexism in male eye
candy.
Viewed today, Underwater! is so slight and
silly, it remains a minor curiosity only in that it has found its way to
Blu-ray ahead of all the bona fide classics still awaiting a hi-def release in
Warner Bros. current holdings, let alone the still MIA features they hold the
rights to from the MGM and RKO catalog of goodies. The Warner Archive (WAC) has
this long-standing tradition of promoting such C-grade tripe, interpolated with
real classics from Hollywood’s golden age.
I would love for its VP, George Feltenstein, to comment in one of his
frequent pod-casts, more directly on the decision-making process for vetting
what movies come to Blu-ray. What is irrefutable is the level of quality all WAC
Blu-ray releases are afforded. Herein, we get an early Eastman Color dye transfer
looking utterly ravishing. Everything clicks as it should – or rather, did in
1955: accurate skin tones, perfect grain structure, sublime contrast, and that
superficial affinity for visual gloss – atmospheric, gaudy and gorgeous - even
at a glance. The 2.0 DTS mono sounds wonderful, although by the end, composer,
Roy Webb’s constant interpolation of ‘that song’ wears exceedingly
thin. WAC affords us no extras, and
probably just as well. The picture’s plot is so straight forward, I doubt there
would be much more to illustrate in an audio commentary. Bottom line: fun to
look at, but dull in its action and performances, Underwater! should be
considered for die-hard John Sturges completionists and Jane Russell aficionados
only. The Blu-ray is perfect – the movie, far from it. Judge and buy
accordingly.
FILM RATING (out of 5 – 5 being the best)
1.5
VIDEO/AUDIO
5
EXTRAS
0
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