VIOLENT NIGHT: 4K UHD Blu-ray (Universal, 2022) Unidversal Home Video

Who wouldn’t want to have Santa Claus as their yuletide vigilante? Yet another mindless, appalling and thoroughly bastardized example of what the traditional ‘feel good’ Christmas movie in post-post-modern America has become, director, Tommy Wirkola’s Violent Night (2022) is an actioner that only an elf on quaaludes could love. Whether to consider this belch-happy/booze hound reincarnation of St. Nick (portrayed with a certain brutish/comedic gesture and disregard for the niceties by a bullish David Harbour), who takes a sledgehammer to one mercenary and impales and electrocutes another in the eyeball with the Christmas star, or the cringe-worthy performance by John Leguizamo as a thuggish Mr. Scrooge, Violent Night quickly unfurls as a tale told in such poor taste that it is hard to actually consider it a black comedy or a competently made action movie – which, for better or worse, it arguably is. If only to completely abandon one’s morality and sense of propriety (alas, not so far of a stretch these days), the picture becomes an inelegantly jovial and sadistic romp – a sort of Christmas in Carnage-land. The only redeeming value here is that the baddies get it in the end, thanks to the quick-thinking communications between Santa and 7-year-old Trudy Lightstone (Leah Brady), just one of the hostages to fit into Scrooge’s demented plans to wreck an uber-wealthy family’s quiet holiday at home.

For decades now, Christianity in general, and Christmas in particular have been under attack by liberal leftists who firmly believe the modern world need not possess any hero worship of virtually every time-honored figure from history (both real and imagined). As such, the tearing down of statues, renaming of public schools, etc. et al. Surprisingly, it took them until 2022 to get around to besmirching the venerable Santa Claus, the origin story of the real St. Nick, already distanced with century’s old reincarnations into Father Christmas, remade as a Coca-Cola mascot and then, a beloved actor, Edmund Gwenn – as the penultimate 20th century embodiment of the jolly fat man in the red suit. So, David Harbour’s hammer-wielding, hulk-happy pig of a human being, turning our white Christmases red with the blood of counterculture legionnaires, glibly referenced in this movie as ‘seasons beatings’ is pretty damn disgusting. No kidding – Wirkola’s flick is not the first to turn ‘peace on earth’ asunder at the movies. But it remains the most grotesquely crass and woefully witless. Harbour’s Santa isn’t just a drunken sad sack. He’s a pugnacious punisher who would rather hang you up by your mistletoe than fill your stockings with love. That suits the story – in so far as it goes - with Pat Casey and Josh Miller’s screenplay whisking Santa off to the Lightstone’s uber-wealthy New England playground after Trudy’s faux communication device, given to her by her father as a means to speak directly to Santa, actually turns out to have its direct transmitter tuned in to the North Pole. 

But this pastiche turns pretty dark and ugly almost from the moment Prancer takes a dump on one of the rooftops. And that’s pretty much how I feel about Wirkola’s flick, pooping all over one of the last vestiges of ‘goodwill toward men’ in a world needing no help to crumble into abject chaos on a whim the other 364 days of the year, but, ‘in general’, subscribes to take a respite from its mad, inhuman noise every December 25th or January 7th for those of the Orthodox faith. When Wirkola paints himself into a creative corner, he merely reaches for the Ginsu or gun to decapitate, mutilate or otherwise cleave body parts in the snow. If the weather outside is frightful, the climate of the action sequences taking place inside this hostile, hotel-esque abode comes with its own blizzard of bullets to outclass Jack Frost’s sh#t storm.

Plot wise: we are in Greenwich, Connecticut where Jason Lightstone (Alex Hassell), his estranged wife, Linda (Alexis Louder), and their 7-year-old daughter, Trudy (Leah Brady) have gathered at his mother, Gertrude's (Beverly D'Angelo) manor house in the snow to celebrate with sis’, Alva (Edi Patterson), her dopey beau, Morgan Steel (Cam Gigandet) and Alva’s online streamer son, Bert (Alexander Elliot). Finding an old walkie-talkie for Trudy to ‘talk to Santa’, Jason and Linda overhear her fervent wish to be a family again. Alas, before this can happen, an inebriated Santa barrels down the chimney. The caterers are revealed as Scrooge’s soldiers of fortune who lay waste to the servants but take the wealthy Lightstone’s hostage. From here, the rest of the tale devolves into a one-man’s vision quest to viciously slay the bad guys. Santa tosses one mercenary out the window, impales another with the Christmas star, and decides, ultimately, to save the Lightstones from Scrooge’s entourage of evil elves. Fearing reprisals, Jason tells their captors Trudy’s claim that Santa is coming to town for their asses is a childhood fiction and denounces the jolly, red guy as a myth. A disheartened Trudy retreats to the attic, only to be informed by Santa that, in a previous life, he was Nikamund the Red, a ruthless Viking warrior who, long ago, decided to spread joy and kindness throughout the world, thanks to his fruitful 1,100-year marriage to Mrs. Claus.

Scrooge's henchman, Krampus (Brendan Fletcher) orders the family to bestow their gifts on Gertrude, who is surprised by a card from Jason. Meanwhile, Santa is taken by Scrooge. But Santa's knowledge of their real identities convinces Scrooge’s other goons, Gingerbread (André Eriksen) and Candy Cane (Mitra Suri) he is the real deal.  Santa escapes up the chimney, but not before his magic sack is destroyed.  Gertrude's private ‘kill squad’ (aside, I guess you have one of those when you’re richer than Midas), led by Commander Thorp (Mike Dopud) reveal themselves to be in league with Scrooge, murdering the cowardly Morgan after he tries to escape. Too bad for Scrooge, the family vault is empty. Scrooge smells a rat. Indeed, Jason confesses he stole Gertrude’s stash as he was planning to start anew with his wife and child. Now, we learn the treasonous Gerty was pretty pitiless herself. Thus, her wealth came from crooked dealings. Now, her heart fills with admiration for Jason. Takes one scumbag to recognize another. So, Gerty appoints Jason as her heir apparent.

The final act of this meaningless tale is a laundry list of murder. Santa unforgivingly massacres Gerty’s kill squad with a sledgehammer. Trudy sets a trap for Gingerbread, resulting in his death. Candy Cane plots revenge, but is murdered by Santa. Scrooge orders the family to be put to death. Instead, Alva, Linda, and Bert murder Krampus. Scrooge and Thorp, having recovered Gerty’s millions, now take her hostage and flee into the woods. Linda executes Scrooge’s last mercenary. She and Jason reunite with a kiss. Santa is lured by Scrooge to a cabin. Santa uses his magic to crush and disembowel Scrooge inside a chimney. But then Santa is fatally shot by Thorp, who is subsequently murdered by Gertrude. Mercifully, the family’s restored faith in Santa is enough to resurrect him from the dead. He departs to finish his sworn duty to the children of the world, delivering presents as the Lightstones look on.

Buried somewhere, along with all the bodies, is a nugget of wisdom that there still is no place like home for the holidays. It’s just too bad we have to wade through nearly 2 hours of savage butchery and a body count to rival a Shakespearean tragedy to get to it. Actually, I have insulted Shakespeare here. Violent Night is more Quentin Tarantino than the Bard of Stratford on Avon and very much a ‘white trash’ debasement of St. Nicholas, Christmas, Christianity and the good sense God gave a lemon.  However, a Christmas-themed movie that rakes in $76 million worldwide cannot be overlooked…at least, not by the money men in Hollywood. Thus, Universal (the movie’s distributor) and Wirkola are likely hard at play, ironing out the details for an even bloodier sequel. No more time to waste on such mindless, mauling and masochistic tripe. Aspiring to fall somewhere between torture porn and a Frank Capra flick, Violent Night is what it is – contrived, savage, mostly uninspiring and, at intervals, painfully dumb. 

Universal Home Video’s new-to-4K looks a tad cleaner than its sincerely flawed Blu-ray, which contained some very distracting digital noise. Much of this has been finessed in 4K, though there are still a few instances of ringing halos – and not, of the saintly kind. Color fidelity and saturation take a monumental leap forward. The Blu-ray was pretty anemic. The 4K features a striking color palette, elevating the blood-bursts of red to reference quality. Contrast advances, as does fine detail. Universal’s 7.1 DTS audio will definitely give your speakers a workout. Extras have been regurgitated from the Blu and contain nearly 19-mins. of deleted and/or extended scenes, barely 4-mins. of Harbour waxing about how he ‘created’ his character, and another almost 10 minutes devoted to ‘the making’ of the movie. There is an audio commentary. I toggled between listening to it while the more elaborately staged action scenes were unraveling, and just listening to the movie itself. Wirkola, his producer, Guy Danella, and writers, Pat Casey, and Josh Miller weigh in on their ‘art’. Honestly, not every movie deserves a commentary. This one definitely didn’t enhance my appreciation of the story. Bottom line: Violent Night is a pretty C-grade effort. Just because it surpassed its box office targets doesn’t make it ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ – which didn’t make back its money theatrically, but is an infinitely more rewarding and noteworthy Christmas movie to invest your time. This 4K release rectifies many sins committed on Uni’s standard Blu. It’s still not perfect, but hey – the movie unapologetically misses that artistic mark of excellence by a lightyear. Judge and buy accordingly.

FILM RATING (out of 5 – 5 being the best)

0

VIDEO/AUDIO

4.5

EXTRAS

2