ROAD TO SINGAPORE: Blu-ray (Paramount, 1940) Kino Lorber
Take America’s
greatest crooner, America’s most beloved comedian, an exotic love interest, and
a series of nonsensical plot twists, efficiently packaged with engaging musical
numbers and sexually genteel double entendre and you have director, Victor
Schertzinger’s Road to Singapore (1940);
the movie that launched a wildly popular franchise. The ‘Road’ pictures became a
main staple for Paramount Pictures throughout the forties and early fifties;
the box office appeal of Bing Crosby, Bob Hope and Dorothy Lamour, impossibly
slick and stylish escapism that had audiences clamoring for more. By 1940,
Crosby and Hope were both household names on the radio – Crosby, besting Hope’s
start by nearly four full years. In hindsight, however, Hope showed more
diversity, combining his radio years, with host duties at the annual Oscar ceremony,
entering the picture biz in 1940, and pursuing an aggressive and life-long spate
of USO tours to entertain the troops – both at home, and abroad (usually with ‘a broad’ or two at his side to sweeten
the deal for American soldiers). And Hope, unlike Crosby, was quick to
capitalize on television’s burgeoning possibilities as the then ‘new’ media du jour. Although Crosby’s movie
career arguably had more hits (certainly, more memorable pictures like Holiday Inn, 1942; The Bells of St. Mary’s, 1945, and, of course, White Christmas, 1954), Hope proved he could match Crosby
toe-to-toe in their dance routines, and fairly rival his ability to market a
song too. Many today forget that the perennial Christmas carol, Silver Bells, was first made popular by
Hope in 1951’s remake of The Lemon Drop
Kid.
In an era of
supreme Hollywood screen teams, Hope and Crosby are an inspired duo – Crosby’s smarmy
‘straight man’ a nice counterbalance to Hope’s snarky and barb-laden buddy –
pitching jokes and lobbing insults that Crosby could either take or swat right
back with more than a modicum of jovial wit. Road to Singapore may not be the best in the franchise, but it does
establish some running gags and good solid banter between the boys that sticks
to the ribs and our memories long after the houselights have come up. Trying to
describe the ever-lasting appeal of the ‘Road…’ pictures is a bit like
attempt to explain the bittersweet charm of Marcel Marceau to a blind person.
It can’t be done unless you are able to see the results for yourself. Crosby
and Hope are obviously having a very good time here – the pair so in sync, they
can crack each other up, seemingly without even trying, and, take the luscious
Lamour right along for the ride. Dorothy Lamour’s ‘third wheel’ in the Hope/Crosby
formula is as difficult to quantify. Lamour is lovely – yes. But she also
possesses a freshness and warmth that cannot be faked. Coupled with her expert
comic timing, she adds immensely to the byplay, and elsewhere in the ‘Road’
franchise.
Originally begun
as Road to Mandalay, the project was
first pitched to Paramount alumni, Fred MacMurray and Jack Oakie, and then,
hubby and wife team, George Burns and Gracie Allen (rechristened as Beach of Dreams). While there are studio
memos to suggest a conflict of scheduling prevented MacMurray and Oakie from
partaking, George Burns openly trashed the idea as ‘silly’ – refusing to do it.
Only then, did Paramount turn to Hope
and Crosby – the picture initially meant to beef up Lamour’s star launch, as
she had already appeared to very good effect in several ‘south sea’ themed
movies for the studio. Indeed, Road to
Singapore remains the only picture in the ‘Road’ franchise where
Lamour gets billing above Hope in the main titles – proof, that her drawing
power at the box office superseded Hope’s – at least, in 1940. Hollywood lore
has suggested for decades that Paramount execs became convinced of Hope and
Crosby ‘screen team’ potential after they appeared at Del Mar racetrack in a
smoothly orchestrated bit of schtick. But actually, the boys had appeared
together as Vaudevillians long before this. In many ways, they play off those
old routines in Road to Singapore, with
minor tweaks to enliven the material. And although Road to Singapore did derive from a screenplay by Frank Butler and
Don Hartman – no strangers to comedy writing – some of the Crosby/Hope magic
was ad-libbed, eliciting unexpected laughter from the crew and director, Schertzinger,
who did not mind working with genius. Crosby and Hope also relied on some new material,
expressly written to their strengths by their own staff writers, Sid Kuller and
Ray Golden.
Interestingly,
Lamour would nearly lose out on the opportunity to partake of the last picture
in the franchise, dubiously titled ‘The’ Road to Hong Kong (1954), her
part recast with Joan Collins at Crosby’s behest. It was Hope who fought for
Lamour to appear in that forgettable swan song; albeit, in barely a cameo. When
it premiered, Road to Singapore was an
unexpected runaway hit – the 17th highest money-maker of the year,
buoyed in part by Hope’s chronic promotion of it on his weekly radio program. Although,
in hindsight, the situations teeter on nonsensical slapstick, Road to Singapore is held together by
the undeniable Crosby/Hope harmony. Those expecting plot are in for a colossal
disappointment. This one makes no sense at all. Does it really matter? No – the
cajoling, clowning and cowering in the face of danger, creating ribald repartee
between our would-be heroes. And this is quite enough to fill the picture’s
hour-and-a-half run time with sheer delight.
The practically
non-existent plot involves Josh Mallon (Bing Crosby) and Ace Lannigan (Bob
Hope) - best friends who work aboard the same sea-faring vessel. Docked at port
after a lengthy voyage, these sparing friends witness various sailors being categorically
mistreated by their wives and gal pals. Acknowledging their own brushes with
female companionship, Ace and Josh vow never to become inveigled with the ‘fairer’
sex. But this pledge is tested almost immediately when Ace is confronted by the
father (Roger Gray) of his ex-lover, Cherry (whom we never see), toting two
goons and a big stick in lieu of the proverbial ‘shotgun’. Ace and Josh pull a ‘pat-a-cake’
routine (this will become one of the picture’s running gags), resulting in a
fist fight and narrow escape. Not long thereafter, Josh, heir apparent to a
shipping dynasty run by his father/magnate, Joshua Mallon IV (Charles Coburn)
is brought to temporarily heel at the altar of his socialite/fiancée, Gloria Wycott
(Judith Barrett); also, the elder Josh’s wishes he finally forswears all
youthful dalliances and settle down. The situation goes from dire to
embarrassing when Josh and Ace delay their arrival to Josh’s engagement party
aboard Mallon’s yacht, showing up hours late to the soiree, not suitably
dressed for the occasion, and toting a gargantuan marlin they caught at sea. Gloria’s
embittered and inebriated brother, Gordon (Steve Pendleton) spurs Ace and Josh into
a fistfight, caught for posterity by a society reporter, there to take photos
of the party. The published scandal puts a tailspin in the marriage plans, sending
Josh and Ace, first to Hawaii and then, Singapore.
With limited
means, the boys get only as far as Kaigoon. Spending their last pennies on a
night out at a local club, Ace and Josh are immediately attracted to dancer, Mima
(Dorothy Lamour), performing an exotic apache with her abusive partner, Caesar
(Anthony Quinn). Rescuing the girl, and, of course, starting yet another fist
fight, Ace and Josh set up housekeeping thereafter in a modest hut, inviting
Mima to come and live with them – very chummy, indeed. But the girl is neither naïve
nor demure, taking charge of their lives, freshening up the place, and all but
making herself a damn nuisance as the happy homemaker. At one point, Josh and
Ace elect to send Mima packing. But this awkward parting of the ways ends when
Caesar resurfaces. His attempt to brutalize and reclaim Mima is once more
thwarted by Ace and Josh. Now, this trio of cons on the lam try their hand at
flim-flaming the locals, marketing a hilarious ‘spot remover’ that, after
working itself into a frenzied lather, damn near eats through the top coat of Achilles
Bombanassa (Jerry Colonna). As Josh’s father has since guess the whereabouts of
his wayward son, he and Gloria fly to Kaigoon where Caesar is only too happy to
deliver them to their chosen target. The wrinkle: both Josh and Ace have fallen
madly for Mima. She favors Josh and is heart sore to discover he already has a fiancée.
In his friend’s
absence, Ace proposes to Mima. And although it appears as though she might
reluctantly accept the offer – if only to be rid of Caesar once and for all -
before this can happen, Josh returns. Josh and Ace narrowly come to blows.
Instead, they elect to let Mima decide who will be her husband. Only now, Mima surprises everyone by picking
Ace. Chagrined, Josh boards an ocean liner bound for home with Gloria and his father
in tow. Meanwhile, Caesar informs the local police Ace is in Kaigoon without a
visa. After he is unable to produce a passport, Ace is promptly arrested. With
considerable comedic skill, Ace manages his mangled escape from jail. Now, he
and Mima flee, boarding a ship bound for home. So far/so good, except Ace realizes
Mima picked him second best, just to spite Josh. She really loves Josh after
all. We shift our focus to Josh’s ship docking into port. Josh overhears
another disgruntled passenger complaining about a pair of cons and a terrible
spot remover that nearly disintegrated his suit jacket. Realizing Ace and Mima are
close by, Josh seeks them out for one last possible chance at reconciliation. Upon
discovering the pair, Ace informs his best pal Mima has always loved him. The
couple are reunited, presumably, with plans to wed at the earliest possible
convenience.
Road to Singapore is nonsensical to a fault, but nonetheless
enchanting from start to finish. Hope and Crosby take us through a series of
inside jokes that still resonate with solid, brittle humor. The ‘exotic’
locations are rather transparently, all sets built on the Paramount back lot, cobbled
together with stock shots of luxury liners passing far off ports, and rear
projection standing in with swaying palms and moon-lit backdrops to add
manufactured ambience to the proceedings. It’s the Hope/Crosby interaction that
really serves as the crutch here. We can set aside almost every deficit in the
movie’s structure and story line because the exchanges between the boys – with an
occasional assist from Lamour – is that
good. Seeing the taut Tony Quinn repeatedly pummeled by these two rather ‘less
than’ robust physical specimens is the cream of the jest; Crosby, repeatedly
making fun of his own paunch. Road to Singapore is good-natured. Seemingly
aware he has little else to fall back on, director, Victor Schertzinger makes
the most of Crosby’s already well-inculcated stardom and Hope’s rapidly
ascending popularity. It is the focus here. And it works, with joyously obtuse
vignettes and three hilarious songs; the best of the lot, ‘Captain Custard’ (co-written by Schertzinger and Johnny Burke). Crosby
croons the melodic love ballad, ‘Too
Romantic’ and everyone gets in on the act with ‘Sweet Potato Piper’. There
are better classic movies out there, though barely a better way to spend a
rainy afternoon than basking in the afterglow of Crosby and Hope’s hilarious
antics in this one.
Road to Singapore arrives on Blu-ray via Kino Lorber’s
recently minted alliance with Universal Home Video. Frankly, it’s about time Uni’s
deep holdings began arriving on home video in hi-def – especially all of their
pre-50’s Paramount acquisitions, left in limbo for decades since. But Road to Singapore is a rather disappointing
foray. This disc has obviously been derived from video elements that are at
least a couple of decades old. And, in fact, in 1080p Road to Singapore looks only marginally better than it did on Uni’s
oft regurgitated ‘franchise’ collector’s series DVD. The image is riddled in
age-related artifacts. There is a lot of dirt, scratches, etc. to keep the eye
busy. Also, modest gate weave and built in flicker. Add to this, some digital
noise, and film grain that looks more digitized than indigenous to its source
and…well, you can see where I am going with this one. Overall, Road to Singapore is not a disaster.
You can watch it in spite of its flaws and still enjoy the movie for its
performances. But honestly – can we all just agree it is about time the powers
that be over at Universal decided their asset management skills are in need of
a desperate overhaul? I am getting sincerely tired of reviewing inferior
product. Is anyone else getting just as careworn watching it? The audio is a passable
mono DTS. Kino has licensed two extras that were part of Uni’s DVD release: the
first, skipping over the particulars of both Crosby and Hope’s respective careers
and how they came to make the ‘Road’ pictures, the second, briefly
devoted to Hope’s USO work. Otherwise, we get trailers for this and the
remaining franchise. Ho-hum. The beat goes on. Bottom line: Road to Singapore is a charming movie.
The Blu-ray is un-impressive. Judge and buy accordingly.
FILM RATING (out of 5 – 5 being the best)
3.5
VIDEO/AUDIO
2.5
EXTRAS
1
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