FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH: Blu-ray re-issue (Universal, 1982) Criterion
The soft-core teen sex farce, with its interminably
heavy-handed insertion of pop tunes, crotch-kicking humor and pointlessly
sophomoric vignettes is on full display in Amy Heckerling's Fast Times at
Ridgemont High (1982), a thoroughly mindless cult classic claptrap from the
1980’s, dedicated to a certain element growing up too fast in a culture
worshiping sex, drugs and rock and roll. The screenplay by Cameron Crowe (based
on his book) tries too hard to be revealing, poignant and funny. It's none of
the above. Even in '82, I remember thinking to myself this wasn't a very good reflection
on how teenagers actually behaved. Unlike director John Hughes, who treats his
pubescent ensembles as though they have minds and hearts to accompany their
firm bodies, the characters who populate Heckerling's tableau are mere
oversexed cardboard cut outs – extreme walking clichés, pitched with ‘teen
spirit’ but otherwise unrealistically portrayed for the 30-second blush-factored
gratuitous nudie scene and salaciously raw comedy. Viewed from a vantage
long-ago removed from that whacky and wonderful epoch to have spawned it, Fast
Times at Ridgemont High isn’t so much a time capsule that leaves the warm afterglow
for those simpler times behind, as much as it stains like skid marks after a
particularly nasty bowel movement, with a lot of appallingly third-rate farce lobbed
as front-line fun in the sun. Much of the heavy lifting here is left to Sean
Penn’s perpetually gutsy, but otherwise clueless surfer dude, Jeff Spicoli, and,
in reconsidering Penn’s performance herein, one can see just how brilliantly good
an actor he was, even at 22, much too old to be playing the hapless and
toke-smokin’ Valley guy. Somehow, Penn pulls it off – enjoyably so. Not so much,
25-yr.-old Judge Reinhold, as Brad, the hash-slinging fast-food manager,
chronically contemplating dumping his gal/pal.
Cameron Crowe’s screenplay plays an awful lot like a
mash-up of ‘retrofitted’ outtakes and outright rejects from John Landis’ Animal
House (1978), albeit, with a bit more surface sheen to augment the gild of
eighties’ superficial materialism. Let’s face it, folks. The 80’s for teens at
least, was all about being seen at the mall with the cool kids, wearing
expensive name brands, hair teased with far too much gel, leg-warmers and mesh
tank tops firmly affixed. Not to get too
sentimental for that time, having lived through it as a teen – and, to have had
one hell of a good time just being alive then – but honestly, you had to be
there…or be square. Ironically, what must have seemed very ‘cool’ indeed then, has
dated rather tragically now. Someone at
Criterion was convinced this one had ‘cultural and historical significance’.
But I cannot even consider Fast Times as quaintly iconic. It’s a
relic – not a time capsule. And although one may argue in support of Fast
Times at Ridgemont High providing a kick-start to an entire franchise in teen-based
sex comedies that immediately followed it, proliferating into their own
sub-genre, and, most put forth with a higher degree of intelligence by
director, John Hughes (who truly had his pulse on the beating heart of the
American teenager), points for being the first of its kind ought to be
carefully weighed against merits of quality in competition with the rest.
First-time director, Amy Heckerling has since explained
her primary reason for making the picture: to put such ‘contrived’ notions
about American teen-hood, as depicted in such classics as American Graffiti
(1973) to shame. In point of fact, Universal had very little faith in both American
Graffiti and Fast Times at Ridgemont High, initially contemplating
withholding the latter from a general release on the East Coast. Desperate for
his big break, future actor, Nicolas Cage (billed for the first and only time
here under his real name, Nicholas Coppola) lied about his age during the
audition – a deception to have landed him the bigger role of Brad until producers
discovered he was only seventeen. Clearing a hurdle with the censors proved
something of an ordeal as Fast Times at Ridgemont High contains more
than its fair share of risqué behavior. The dreaded X-rating was given after it
was discovered co-star, Robert Romanus appeared briefly in full-frontal nude.
Given the option to either retain Romanus’s member or keep a scene in which
co-star, Phoebe Cates demonstrates the finer points of the perfect blow-job on
a carrot, Heckerling chose for the latter moment to stay in her movie.
Important to note, this ‘lesson’ was originally meant to be filmed in a hot tub
with both girls completely naked. However, Romanus’ moment of ‘full disclosure’
was not intended as gratuitous raunch, rather to illustrate the awkward first
moments when he and co-star, Jennifer Jason Leigh face each other for their
very first time, still unprepared to have sex. As a point of interest: had Fast
Times at Ridgemont High retained its ‘X’ status, it would have been only
the second time in cinema history for a major studio release. The first was the
Oscar-winning, Midnight Cowboy (1969).
Not all the blush about the picture’s nudity came from
without. Beloved character actor, Fred Gwynne turned Amy Heckerling down for
the role of Mr. Hand, citing the picture’s overt and gratuitous nude scenes. Heckerling
also ran into some serious opposition from co-star, Phoebe Cates who, in a
fantasy sequence, was expected to remove her lycra-red bikini top and prance
seductively toward the camera. Heckerling assured the actress, not only would
the moment be ‘in good taste’ but also, only be on the screen for a ‘flash’
(pun intended), juxtaposed with images of Brad masturbating to his imagined
ideal of what her body actually looked like. Alas, in the era of home video
rentals, it became something of a running gag that copies of Fast Times at
Ridgemont High experienced predictable flicker, a result of excessive
fast-forward and rewinding the tape repeatedly during Cates’ ‘moment’ of full
exposure. While the picture is noted for the ‘official’ launch of the careers
of Nicholas Cage, Sean Penn, Forest Whitaker, Jennifer Jason Leigh and screenwriter,
Cameron Crowe, Justine Bateman – originally tapped for the part of Linda – made
an executive decision to forever alter her own career prospects to the good; bowing
out of this project to audition for Family Ties (1982-88), thereby
securing a 7-year run on one of TV’s ever-popular and infinitely classier smash
hits. In an unrelated bit of tragedy, Jennifer Jason Leigh’s father, actor, Vic
Morrow, along with two co-stars, was beheaded in a helicopter accident on the
set of The Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983), just as Leigh was about to
experience her first flourish of success in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Crowe's screenplay is very loosely concerned with 19-year-old,
Stacy Hamilton (Jennifer Jason Leigh) who is determined to lose her virginity
before she turns twenty. Stacy works at the food court in the mall with friend,
Linda Barrett (Phoebe Cates) – a voluptuous and hot-blooded girl about town.
Linda wastes no time regaling Stacy with her sexual exploits, teaching her the
finer mechanics of fellatio using a carrot as her...uh...prop. Not long
thereafter, Stacy meets 26-year-old audio specialist and resident mallrat heartthrob,
Ron Johnson (D.W. Brown). The two are quickly acquainted. After Stacy sneaks
out of her house to meet Ron at a secluded dugout, she has her first sexual
encounter. It will be her last with Ron, whose M.O. is apparently only bonking
virgins. Meanwhile, wallflower/movie usher, Mark Ratner (Brian Backer) worships
Stacy from afar. He confides his feelings to his best friend, Mike Damone
(Robert Romanus), a bookie/ticket scalper who encourages Mark to ask Stacy out
on a date. Meanwhile, Stacy's brother, Brad (Judge Reinhold) is seriously
thinking of breaking up with his girlfriend, Lisa (Amanda Wyss) to expand his
own sexual horizons. Lisa beats Brad to the punch line, however. Shortly
thereafter Brad is fired from his menial ‘fast food’ job and spends the bulk of
his time aimlessly bouncing from one dead end career to the next, disillusioned
about his future. The one character yet to be introduced into this narrative is
inexplicably the star of the film; Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn), a playfully
drugged out California surfer dude, totally oblivious to authority figures and
completely out of step with all but two of his fellow burnouts (Eric Stoltz and
Anthony Edwards).
Spicoli runs afoul of U.S. history teacher, Mr. Hand
(Ray Walston) by being chronically late to class and later, ordering a cheese
pizza during one of Hand’s lessons. Spicoli borrows the snazzy silver sports
car of bull-headed varsity jock, Charles Jefferson (Forrest Whitaker) without
his knowledge; then, accidentally trashes it. To avoid Charles’ wrath, Spicoli
leaves the wreck parked on campus, spray-painting racial slurs all over its
smashed frame, presumably, put there by Lincoln High School's rival football
team. The ruse works and Charles - fueled with uncontainable rage - demolishes
Lincoln's football team on the field during the playoffs. Eventually, Stacy's
awakened sexual appetite migrates to Mike who takes thirty-seconds to shoot his
wad inside her pool house change room. Short seduction, perhaps, but very long
on consequences. Stacy gets pregnant. She tells Mike about the baby. Alas, he
is unable to call in enough markers to pay for the abortion. Instead, he
chickens out and leaves Stacy waiting for a ride to the free clinic. Stacy lies
to Brad who drives her to the bowling alley - presumably for a date with Mike -
before crossing the street to the free clinic where she has the abortion
anyway. Brad, however, is no fool. He sees Stacy go into the clinic and
thereafter becomes a sympathetic brother. Mark and Mike have a falling out over
Stacy. This almost leads to blows inside the locker room. Eventually, the chums
reconcile and Stacy decides to hook up with Mark. Besides, he really loves her.
Viewed today Fast Times at Ridgemont High is a fairly
obtuse exploitation comedy that relies much too heavily on teenage stereotypes
to sell its wares. Sean Penn's drug-happy surfer, Forest Whitaker’s mindless
jock, Brian Backer and Rob Romanus' woefully-marked preppies, etc. etc. But
even these pigeon-holes are disingenuous and virtually unrelatable as members
of their designated peer group. Instead, they are very much of the grotesque
caricature, slickly marketed to get the laugh. But beyond that, there really is
nothing here – just a lot of empty headed and soulless oddballs bumping uglies.
Even more disconcerting, the rather devil-may-care disregard for basic human
decency. There is no emotional ‘connection’ between characters – just a lot of air,
heated up by all the heavy breathing. The one exception here is Jeff Spicoli.
Although given preciously little to do in the script (indeed, Spicoli’s dream
sequence was written into the picture after the fact to plump up his part),
there is something to Sean Penn's precious performance that infers beneath Spicoli’s
‘Kowabunga, narly’ passion for surfing and Playboy centerfolds there lurks a
sad, stunted and thoroughly scared little boy, lost but yearning to be a man.
Okay, so Fast Times at Ridgemont High was never
intended as a serious drama. Then why delve into any serious issues at all?
Instead, the picture treats car accidents, chronic drug abuse, unprotected
casual sex and abortion as though it’s all merely harmless good fun and part
and parcel of a predictable part in growing up. Granted, Fast Times at
Ridgemont High is billed as a comedy. But it really is more of a holdover
from that '70s vein in stupid human tricks than a valiant attempt to reflect on
the social angst teenagers come to grips with in their own self-destructive
ways. Whenever Crowe's script paints its characters into a narrative corner (this,
it does quite a lot) the film relies on an insert of an 80's pop tune sensation
to transition from one scene to the next. This MTV-styled connect-the-dots
really doesn’t play so much as to provide an interlude between vignettes. So
much for continuity. Every studio-made teen comedy is pretty much guilty of
this. But unlike some of the more enduring examples in the genre (Teachers,
Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink), Fast Times at
Ridgemont High does not hold up as an entertainment, perhaps because it
rarely holds the conscience of its characters to a higher standard.
Criterion has elected to reissue Fast Times at
Ridgemont High on Blu-ray. Aside: I
thought Criterion’s modus operandi, like that of the National Registry, was to
preserve and market pictures of cultural significance. Frankly, I don’t see the
connection between that manifesto and Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Universal’s
own previously marketed Blu-ray – part of their 100th Anniversary,
featured bold, rich and re-invigorated colors that some critics then, and now,
consider artificially boosted to meet the requirements of the digital age.
There is something to this, as the image on the Uni disc had a vaguely ‘processed’
look. The new-to-Blu Criterion re-issue sports a decidedly subdued color
palette – although, I am not entirely certain this accurately represents what
the movie looked like in 1982 either. For one thing, Spicoli’s California surfer’s
tan is gone – flesh tones settling into a more natural pink caste. If, as Criterion’s
marketing suggests, this one has been remastered from a new 4K scan, the
results are decidedly softer and less refined than the Uni disc from 2012.
Granted, Uni’s was encoded in the inferior VC-1 and likely artificially
sharpened to crisp-up the image. But the other curiosity of the Criterion is
its distinct cropping of the image. I mean, we lose quite a bit of information
on the right and bottom, and also a bit on the top and left. It’s as though the
entire image has been marginally zoomed in and completely reframed.
I know the packaging says ‘director approved’ –
but did Heckerling honestly sign off on a video master that considerably alters
the original framing of her theatrical image?!?! The color palette shifts, favoring
reds that lean more toward reddish/pink instead of red/orange as they leaned on
the Universal disc. When directly compared to the Uni disc, the Criterion looks
washed out. Viewed alone, the eye eventually settles on this subdued palette
without too much consternation. But the cropping alone, and decidedly thicker
and less refined image quality overall, just seems off. The other alteration
here is the soundtrack. Reportedly, Universal ‘lost’ the original mono. Personally,
I don’t believe this, as mono releases of Fast Times at Ridgemont High
were circulated on LaserDisc back in the early 1990’s with a properly preserved
PCM-encode. This could have been easily lifted and reinstated here. The
repurposed 5.1 DTS is identical to the track featured on Uni’s own Blu-ray from
2012 and, like the image, is ‘director approved’. Criterion retains Heckerling
and Crowe’s commentary from 1999, as well as the nearly 40-min. documentary
from that same year. As already mentioned, the 95-min. TV version is also included
here, heavily edited and dubbed so as not to offend the eye or ear and
re-framed in 1.33:1 with a decided down-tick in quality. If I had to guess,
this one’s derived from a video – not film – master. We also get a 45-min.
audio-only interview with Heckerling, a new 35-min. discussion piece with Heckerling
and Crowe, and liner notes by Dana Stevens.
Bottom line: Fast Times at Ridgemont High was never considered
high art, except, perhaps, for those already high – either on life, or…well…you
know. It’s following today is rather baffling to me. There are better teen
comedies out there – more genuine in their approach to their subjects, not
merely thrown to the wolves as ridiculous figures of fun to be stripped down to
their barest – literally – essentials. To those who sincerely love this movie
apologies in advance…sorry, not a fan!
FILM RATING (out of 5 – 5 being the best)
2.5
VIDEO/AUDIO
Theatrical – 4
TV version – 2.5
EXTRAS
4
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